It is not hard to answer the question of why we are attracted to pornography as we are made as sexual beings. But it goes much deeper than the physical attractiveness as I’ve seen men in my office who have beauty queens as wives, but still are addicted to viewing pornography. So why do we really seek porn.
One, because pornography won’t refuse you. The object of your viewing pleasure will not reject you. That is of course, your credit card was not declined. I have yet to hear of a website or service that turned you down, sure some may play hard to get as part of their service, but they never completely turn you down. They would be out of business in a heart beat. As men, we hate to be refused or rejected by women, especially our spouse.
Two, if you take your question, “Am I man?”, to a woman in a sexual manner, you have given her the power to not only validate you by having sex with you, but have also given her the power to invalidate you, that is make you feel rejected, by not having sex with you for some reason. This shot below the belt, as it might feel, is usually only perceived rejection. She may actually have a headache or just not be in the mood. It has nothing to do with your masculinity. So once rejected, we turn to a source to validate that wound, enters pornography which doesn’t reject you.
Third, many men have a fear that they are missing out on something, some pleasure that is out there in the world. So they will either seek it out in the real world, the sex addict seeking the next best thing or the man perusing the Internet hoping to see or find that thing. That thing, whatever it is, I use vague terms here as there is no definition for what ever it is, that is being sought will ever be discovered.
Fourth, most pornography is made up of fantasies. It has people doing sexual acts in places or circumstances that are not normal or common in everyday life. The stories and ideas that are found in porn stem from other peoples fantasies.
This leads to the fifth attraction I point out and that is porn will turn you from reality. You will begin to think that the acts you are viewing are normal, they are not! If your spouse has never acted the way you fantasize, she most likely never will. You need to remember that the objects you are viewing on your screen are actors and what they are doing is not part of their normal everyday lives. I’ve actually known a couple of porn stars in my life and can attest to the fact that they do not act out that way in real life.